Some people are hard to love. Maybe they are immature, or selfish, or mean. Because it is difficult, this kind of love must be a choice. Loving these people takes different skills and requires different steps. 

Most times when we meet people we don’t feel safe because we are in unknown territory—we just don’t know that person yet. Instead of loving them we fear them, consciously or unconsciously. We might respond in all sorts of ways. We might be super friendly, or shy, or funny, or cautious, but still not be ourselves. In that very first encounter, there isn’t concern for them but concern for how we might come across.